Shame, Guilt, and the Currency of the Soul

A theological, psychological, and relational exploration by Dr. Keith M Waggoner

Adrianne and I were sitting together early one morning, coffee still warm, Psalms open between us. We were reading slowly, not studying for a lesson or preparing to teach, just reading. When we came to Psalm 6:10, the line stopped us.

“Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled; let them turn back and be put to shame suddenly.”
Psalm 6:10 ESV

That verse did not sound like what many people have been taught about shame. Shame is often treated as a spiritual tool, a moral motivator, or even something God uses to correct His people. Yet here, shame is not falling on the righteous. It is falling on enemies. That distinction matters.

It led Adrianne and me into a long and honest conversation about shame, guilt, and the quiet internal process of self devaluation that so many people carry without realizing it. It is something I see constantly in my clients, in marriages, in leaders, and across our culture. Shame runs rampant, often masquerading as humility, responsibility, or repentance, while quietly corroding the soul.

This article is my attempt to clarify what shame is, what it is not, and how confusing it with guilt damages our relationship with God, with ourselves, and with others.

Guilt and Shame Are Not the Same Thing

One of the most destructive errors we make is treating shame and guilt as if they are interchangeable. They are not.

Guilt is about behavior.
Shame is about identity.

Guilt says, I did something wrong.
Shame says, there is something wrong with me.

Guilt preserves agency. It assumes that something can be corrected, repaired, or made right. Shame removes agency. It delivers a verdict of devaluation. It tells us we are lacking, defective, or unworthy.

Psychologically speaking, guilt is adaptive. Shame is corrosive.

Theologically speaking, guilt is addressed directly in Scripture through confession, repentance, restitution, and reconciliation. Shame, however, is consistently associated with hiding, fear, and separation.

This distinction matters because guilt invites movement. Shame creates paralysis.

Currency and the Problem of Double Payment

At the heart of shame is a currency problem.

Most people believe they possess the proper currency to deal with guilt and shame. We do not.

Scripture is clear that justice matters. God does not overlook sin. He does not minimize it. He does not pretend it never happened. That would not be goodness. That would not be justice.

When the accuser, often referred to in Scripture as Satan, stands to accuse humanity before God, justice is the demand. And here is the shocking part of the Gospel. Jesus agrees.

Justice must be served.

And it has been.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”
Psalm 103:12 ESV

“He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.”
1 John 2:2 ESV

Justice is not pending. It is complete.

This is where shame sneaks in. Shame emerges when we keep trying to pay for something that has already been paid for. We bring our effort, our remorse, our self punishment, our moral striving, and we expect it to count.

It is like showing up at a store with the wrong currency. You may have worked your entire life to earn it. It may have cost you dearly. But it still will not purchase what only one currency can buy.

Our righteousness could never pay the debt. Only Jesus Christ could.

Trying to pay again creates internal conflict. That conflict produces shame. Not because guilt remains, but because we are using counterfeit currency.

Shame as an Internal Devaluing Process

Shame does not primarily come from other people. It is generated internally.

It is the moment we conclude, I am not enough. I cannot measure up. I am exposed.

Researcher Brené Brown has consistently shown that shame thrives in secrecy and silence. It is not healed by correction. It is healed by truth, connection, and belonging. Shame attacks the self. Guilt addresses an action.

From a coaching perspective, I see this pattern constantly. People assume that because they feel exposed internally, others must see them the same way. That assumption becomes projection.

When I feel devalued, I assume you see me as devalued.
When I assume you see me as devalued, I become defensive, withdrawn, aggressive, or appeasing.
When I behave that way, relationships suffer.

Tony Robbins describes this escalation pattern as the crazy eight. Shame is an intolerable state. The nervous system cannot stay there. So it exports it. We project it outward. Conflict follows.

Shame never stays private. It always becomes relational.

Saboteur Currency and Sage Currency

In my work, I often describe two internal voices.

The Saboteur and the Sage.

Shame is the currency of the Saboteur. It strips power. It devalues. It says there is no point in trying.

Guilt, properly understood, is the currency of the Sage. It convicts without condemning. It says something can be done.

This aligns with Scripture.

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.”
John 16:8 ESV

Conviction is not condemnation. Conviction preserves dignity while calling for change.

Shalom Is Not a Feeling, It Is a Process

Biblically, peace is not the absence of discomfort. Peace is the restoration of right order.

The Hebrew concept of Shalom means to make whole, to restore, to repair.

Jesus makes this clear when He says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.”
John 14:27 ESV

Worldly peace seeks comfort. Biblical peace seeks wholeness.

If my bull jumps the fence and gores my neighbor’s horse, peace is not pretending it did not happen. Peace is responsibility, restitution, and reconciliation. I pay for the horse. I apologize. I restore the relationship.

That is guilt handled correctly.

And the larger picture is this. Peace with God comes first. Christ has already made that peace. From that security, we take responsibility for our actions without devaluing our identity.

How We Shame Ourselves

Here is the common sequence I see in clients.

A mistake is made.
Guilt is felt.
Instead of addressing the behavior, identity is questioned.
Internal verdict forms. I am not enough.
Shame takes hold.
Shame is projected onto others.
Relationships deteriorate.

This process is subtle and powerful.

How We Change the Pattern

Freedom begins with clarity.

Separate identity from behavior.
Accept that justice has already been served through Christ.
Stop paying with counterfeit currency.
Allow guilt to guide correction, not self attack.
Practice Shalom through repair and reconciliation.
Bring shame into the light through trusted relationships.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 8:1 ESV

No condemnation does not mean no responsibility. It means responsibility without devaluation.

Final Thought

Shame is not holiness. It is not humility. It is not repentance.

Shame is a devaluing process that separates us from God, from ourselves, and from others.

Guilt, rightly understood, is a gift. It invites repair. It restores peace. It strengthens relationships.

The question is not whether we will fail. We will.
The question is what currency we will use when we do.

An Invitation

If this article resonates with you, you are not alone. These ideas form the foundation of my coaching work with individuals, couples, leaders, and teams.

I regularly host coaching intensives and live events with my expert coaches where we address identity, relationships, leadership, and spiritual formation at a deep and practical level.

You do not have to carry shame.
You do not have to confuse guilt with condemnation.
You can live free, responsible, and at peace.

To learn more about coaching or upcoming events, I invite you to reach out and begin the conversation.

– Live Life ALIVE… Keith

[email protected]

Shame, Guilt, and the Currency of the Soul