When Everything Breaks: How Single Points of Failure Can Ruin or Reinvent Your Life
By Dr. Keith Waggoner
keithmwaggoner.com
The Day It All Cracked
It was a Thursday morning when my phone rang.
I answered immediately. The number was familiar—it belonged to a man I’d coached for years. A Navy veteran. A successful executive. A man deeply rooted in faith and known for his calm under pressure.
But that morning, his voice cracked.
“Keith… I don’t even know where to start.”
His marriage was unraveling.
His business was bleeding.
His teenage son wouldn’t speak to him.
And then he said the words that so many people utter when the world around them collapses:
“I don’t understand. I did everything right.”
He hadn’t done everything wrong. But he had done what most people do—he built his life on a structure with a Single Point of Failure (SPF). One vulnerable place where, if that part broke, everything else would fall.
And it did.
This article is for anyone who senses cracks forming beneath their feet.
Who wants to strengthen what matters before it breaks.
Who is ready to stop gambling and start building with wisdom, strategy, and sacred commitment.
What Is a Single Point of Failure (SPF)?
In engineering, a Single Point of Failure (SPF) is a component in a system that, if it fails, causes the entire system to fail.
In life, an SPF might look like:
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A business that relies on one client, one leader, or one stream of income.
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A marriage where one person carries all the emotional labor.
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A sense of identity tied solely to success, affirmation, or performance.
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A spiritual life based on convenience rather than covenant.
Most SPFs aren’t obvious until they break. That’s why they’re so dangerous.
Why You’ll See Journaling Prompts in This Article
You’ll notice that throughout this article, I include journaling prompts.
This isn’t filler. It’s one of the most powerful tools I use in coaching.
Dr. James Pennebaker’s groundbreaking research confirms that expressive writing strengthens your immune system, improves your emotional regulation, and activates clearer problem-solving in the brain. It connects logic (left brain) and emotion (right brain). It helps you slow down and see what you’ve ignored.
So don’t skip them.
Slow down. Reflect. Write.
That’s how breakthrough begins.
✍️ Journaling Prompt:
What part of your life—if it failed—would unravel everything else?
Where are you assuming strength without having tested it?
The Gambler’s Persona: Betting on Hope, Not Structure
In my coaching with leaders, I often uncover what I call the Gambler’s Persona—the mindset of someone who places everything they care about on a single plan, person, or hope.
“I bet this will work.”
This isn’t strategy. It’s desperation in disguise.
One client built a seven-figure wellness brand but had only one supplier. When COVID disrupted global shipping, her business collapsed in weeks.
She didn’t fail because she was unskilled. She failed because her dream rested on a single, fragile link.
That’s the nature of SPFs—they don’t fail when you’re watching. They fail when you’re vulnerable.
✍️ Journaling Prompt:
Where in your life are you gambling instead of planning?
What are you silently hoping will “just work” without reinforcement?
The Value Chain: Why One Link Can Undo Everything
—As Taught by Tony Robbins
Tony Robbins teaches that every process of value is made up of a Value Chain—a sequence of interdependent actions, decisions, and people that deliver results.
But if one link in that chain breaks—the whole system collapses.
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In a business: If your key operator walks out, delivery fails.
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In a marriage: If emotional safety disappears, intimacy vanishes.
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In your own life: If your sense of purpose depends on applause, a single criticism will undo you.
That’s why auditing your value chain is essential. In coaching, I help clients identify what they’re counting on too heavily and how to reinforce every part of their life so that they’re antifragile—able to grow stronger through pressure, not collapse under it.
✍️ Journaling Prompt:
Map one area of your life—marriage, faith, business, parenting.
What are the key links in that chain?
Which one feels strained or fragile?
Threshold Moments: The Breaking Point or the Breakthrough
In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell reveals how massive changes are triggered by seemingly small, catalytic events.
These are what I call Threshold Moments—the moment when the pressure becomes unsustainable and you’re forced to make a decision:
“Will I keep pretending… or will I confront the truth?”
It’s the moment you stop managing appearances and start fortifying reality.
Every person I’ve ever helped rebuild their life has passed through this doorway.
Some were shattered when they walked in.
But they walked out as someone new.
From SPF to MPS: Multiple Points of Success
The antidote to SPF is MPS—Multiple Points of Success.
This doesn’t mean divided attention. It means distributed strength.
It means you don’t rely on one income source, one coping strategy, one person, one mood.
It means:
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Redundancy in your systems
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Shared leadership in your marriage
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Resilience in your mindset
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A spiritual identity that outlasts outcomes
This is how elite special forces train. It’s how thriving businesses scale. It’s how healthy couples weather decades.
✅ Action Steps to Build MPS:
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Map Your Value Chains – What delivers results in your life?
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Stress-Test the System – What breaks if one part fails?
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Name the SPF – Where are you silently hoping something holds?
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Build MPS – Create backups. Empower others. Train your systems. Anchor in truth.
✍️ Journaling Prompt:
What systems, partnerships, or beliefs need to be strengthened or multiplied?
Where can you intentionally build multiple points of success?
The Twist: Some SPFs Are Worth Everything
Now for the twist…
Not all SPFs are dangerous.
Some are sacred.
I call these SPS—Single Points of Success. These are the chosen commitments that form the foundation of your life.
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Your covenant marriage
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Your faith in Jesus Christ
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Your vow to mastery and meaning
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Parenthood and legacy
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A sacred mission
These are not fragile dependencies.
They are chosen, weight-bearing foundations that are designed to carry the weight of a whole life.
But you must understand them fully before you commit. Because they come at a cost.
Marriage: The Sacred SPF That Builds the Strongest People
Most people say “I do” to an ideal.
But marriage is not saying “I do” to the best version of your spouse.
It’s saying:
“I do—to your weaknesses, your doubts, your past, your pain.
I do—to choosing this covenant even when I don’t feel it.
I do—to becoming who I need to be, even when you can’t be who you want to be.”
Marriage is not a fantasy. It’s a furnace.
Just like Jesus said:
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves, take up their cross daily and follow me.” —Luke 9:23
We need to stop telling people marriage is about happiness and start teaching them that it’s about becoming holy, resilient, and refined through sacrificial love.
And yes, it includes deep joy.
But not cheap joy. Earned joy.
✍️ Journaling Prompt:
If you’re married: Where do you need to lean back into your vow with renewed courage?
If you’re single: Are you preparing to say “I do” to the real journey—not just the dream?
Why Culture Is Crumbling—and Why Covenant Is the Cure
We live in a culture that glorifies:
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Exit plans
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Options over ownership
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Comfort over courage
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Feelings over follow-through
As Viktor Frankl said in Man’s Search for Meaning:
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how.’”
But most people today have lost their “why.”
And when things get hard—they leave.
They leave jobs.
They leave spouses.
They leave churches.
They leave themselves.
This is why I coach people into deeper commitment, not easier lives.
Because when the going gets tough, we don’t leave. We rise.
The Only Foundation That Cannot Fail
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” —Psalm 127:1
Your ultimate foundation must be Christ.
Not comfort. Not culture. Not even success.
When your identity, your marriage, your calling is built on Him—you can suffer without crumbling.
You can fail without losing yourself.
You can love without fear.
Because He doesn’t break.
Final Coaching Challenge
Here’s your path forward:
✅ Step 1: Identify Your SPFs
Name what’s fragile in your life before it breaks.
✅ Step 2: Embrace Your SPS
Recommit to the sacred foundations—marriage, faith, mastery, legacy.
✅ Step 3: Build MPS
Strengthen your systems. Empower your team. Develop yourself.
✅ Step 4: Do the Work
Journal. Reflect. Pray. Get coached. Choose covenant.
Let’s Build a Life That Doesn’t Break
You weren’t made to live afraid.
You were made to lead, to love, to endure, to overcome.
And if you’re ready to build what lasts—I can help.
👉 Visit keithmwaggoner.com to schedule your first coaching session.
Let’s find the fault lines.
Let’s rebuild the foundation.
Let’s forge a future that holds under pressure—and shines in adversity.
You were never meant to fall apart.
You were made to rise.