Fighting the Good Fight: The Core Purpose of Marriage Is Spiritual Warfare

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Introduction

Marriage is one of God’s most beautiful and dangerous gifts. From the very beginning, He created us male and female—not as duplicates, but as divine complements. “So God created man in His own image… male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27). This wasn’t random—it was revelatory. Masculinity and femininity are both reflections of God’s nature, expressed differently yet harmoniously.

A man and woman in covenant marriage are not two identical halves, but two interlocking powers—like puzzle pieces—designed to complete what the other lacks and sharpen what the other carries. Their differences create friction, yes—but that friction also creates fire. As relationship researchers have long confirmed, polarity between masculine and feminine energy produces passion, attraction, and healthy cooperation. In other words, marriage works because it was designed to be different by design.

Scripture declares, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). A good wife is not just good for the man—she is good to the man and good with the man. She brings life, strength, softness, challenge, and divine beauty. Together, they are not only better—but stronger.

But make no mistake: while marriage is good, it is also war.

In a world that is falling, a good marriage becomes a threat to the darkness. It is under attack constantly—not just with internal challenges like selfishness, disconnection, or miscommunication—but with external forces as well: cultural confusion, generational trauma, temptation, passivity, and spiritual warfare. These pressures aim to destroy not only the bond between husband and wife but the very family tree that could follow them into legacy.

The devil knows the power of a unified couple. He targets marriage with surgical precision because he knows that if he can divide the husband and wife, he can destroy the family, sabotage their mission, and cause collateral damage that spreads across generations. When a marriage is broken, the Kingdom work that was meant to flow through it gets stalled.

Unfortunately, many churches and traditions have missed a vital part of the biblical blueprint: the inclusion of the woman as a spiritual warrior. For generations, we’ve portrayed men as the spiritual leaders and fighters—while wives were seen as passive supporters. But the Bible tells a far more powerful story. God didn’t make a servant for Adam; He made a warrior.

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The Meaning of “Ezer Kenegdo”

Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” The Hebrew phrase used here, ezer kenegdo, is often translated as “helper,” but this English word lacks the punch and purpose packed into the original language.

Ezer is used throughout the Old Testament to describe God Himself—as a military rescuer, as one who intervenes in battle, as one who saves (Psalm 33:20, Deut. 33:29, Psalm 70:5). Kenegdo means “alongside” or “in front of”—not behind or beneath. Together, ezer kenegdo describes a battle partner, a powerful ally, a divine counterforce and companion.

In other words, the wife was designed to fight. Not against her husband, but beside him.

And this pattern appears throughout Scripture. Consider Jael, the woman in Judges 4 who struck down Sisera with a tent peg when Israel’s enemies thought they were safe. Or Deborah, the prophetess and judge who led Israel into battle. Or Esther, who risked her life to save her people. These women weren’t background characters—they were strategic kingdom warriors.

And in my nearly 40 years of marriage coaching, I’ve seen time and again that when a wife understands her role as ezer, and a husband honors her as his God-given counterpart, the enemy loses power. The marriage becomes not just a covenant—it becomes a weapon.

But the enemy is persistent. He still uses the same playbook he always has—targeting the core vulnerabilities of men and women through ancient temptations and predictable distortions. This is why I’ve chosen to frame this battle through the lens of the classic concept of The Seven Deadly Sins.

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Why the Seven Deadly Sins?

Though not found in one place in Scripture, the Seven Deadly Sins were early Christian attempts to categorize the primary avenues of spiritual attack. Originating with the desert fathers, like Evagrius Ponticus and later codified by Gregory the Great, these sins—pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth—are not mere behaviors. They are root systems from which nearly all other sin grows.

Each of these is an ancient stronghold. They are spiritual traps. They are demonic footholds. And they are still the primary weapons used to destroy marriages today.

That’s why I’m not just naming them—I’m building a battle plan for each. One for husbands, and one for wives. These are not abstract teachings—they are action plans. Because sin is not theoretical—it’s tactical. And we must fight it that way.

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Marriage and the Seven Deadly Sins: Duties in Spiritual Combat

Biblical roots of these sins include:

• Pride – Proverbs 16:18

• Greed – 1 Timothy 6:10

• Lust – Matthew 5:28

• Envy – James 3:16

• Gluttony – Proverbs 23:20–21

• Wrath – James 1:20

• Sloth – Proverbs 6:9–11

These sins have endured through every generation because they are ancient strongholds used by the devil to drive wedges between people and between us and God. Even still today, Satan uses these seven channels as strategic spiritual weapons to dismantle marriages, weaken households, and derail destinies.

They are not just personal—they are relational. These sins do not simply attack the individual; they distort the unity of the marriage itself. They are spiritual viruses that mutate into patterns of resentment, distance, infidelity, and collapse.

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Strategic Battle Plans for Each Sin

Pride

• Wives: Speak truth in love. Gently call your husband back to humility. Create space for vulnerability.

• Husbands: Model humility. Be the first to apologize. Ask for feedback. Serve her before yourself.

Greed

• Wives: Foster simplicity. Affirm your family’s purpose beyond possessions. Model gratitude.

• Husbands: Reject materialism. Find worth in your role, not your wealth. Prioritize generosity.

Lust

• Wives: Be open and willing. Understand your presence is sacred and healing.

• Husbands: Save your passion for your wife. Lead in purity. Don’t pursue pixels—pursue her heart.

Envy

• Wives: Celebrate your husband’s achievements. Don’t compare your life to others.

• Husbands: Honor your wife’s unique gifts. Remind her she is your only standard of beauty and worth.

Gluttony

• Wives: Support disciplines of health and wholeness. Guard against emotional numbing.

• Husbands: Lead by example in moderation and self-control. Pursue fitness for mission, not vanity.

Wrath

• Wives: Anchor the home in peace. Refuse to match fire with fire. Intercede, don’t escalate.

• Husbands: Guard your tone. Control your power. Be her sanctuary, not her storm.

Sloth

• Wives: Stir vision. Inspire effort. Speak into his potential.

• Husbands: Lead with diligence. Show initiative. Set rhythms of pursuit, purpose, and prayer.

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Deepen the Battle Plan with Identity-Based Language

• Men: You are a king, a priest, and a warrior. Your wife is your queen. Lead her like Christ leads the Church—not to rule over, but to fight for.

• Women: You are a crown of glory, a prophetess of peace, and a sacred fire. Your beauty is a banner of heaven in a dark world. Don’t hide it—wield it.

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The Sacred Duty of Sexual Availability and Pursuit

Scripture is unambiguous:
“Do not deprive one another except by mutual consent… so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:3–5)

When a wife closes sexually, the man often feels rejected or unseen. This is the battlefield where Satan strikes with whispers of escape and indulgence. Pornography becomes the substitute altar. Adultery becomes a trap.

When a husband neglects to pursue his wife—emotionally, spiritually, or physically—she feels abandoned and invisible. Her heart closes. Intimacy dies.

Wives: Your body is not a burden—it is a gift. A weapon against the enemy.
Husbands: Save your ravages for your wife. Let your passion be holy, fierce, and full of honor.

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A Battle Plan for the Sacred Bond

1. Daily Connection: Pray and check in emotionally every day.

2. Scheduled Intimacy: Protect sacred space for sex and connection.

3. Weekly Warfare Check-In: What sin is creeping in this week? Name it. Fight it.

4. Shared Mission Statement: What is your family fighting for?

5. Covenantal Sex Life: Wives—unveil. Husbands—pursue. Let nothing defile the marriage bed.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

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The Power of Story and Testimony

Let your marriage become a living testimony. A signal fire for your children. A monument of grace for the world. Don’t hide your story. Let heaven be glorified in your scars, and hell be terrified by your unity.

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Conclusion: Fight for Each Other, Not Against Each Other

Marriage is not a cruise ship for comfort. It’s a battleship for purpose.

The wife, as ezer kenegdo, is God’s weapon of grace, strength, and truth in a fallen world. The husband is her protector, pursuer, and partner in divine warfare. Together, they form a holy alliance.

When couples fail to fight with and for each other, the Seven Deadly Sins become saboteurs. But when they execute a sacred, strategic, and sexual battle plan—they reign.

So wives: unveil your beauty and stand strong.
Husbands: pursue her like the treasure she is.
Together: make war against the darkness.

Because marriage is not just a relationship—it’s your greatest weapon against the enemy. Use it.

And remember:
Every disunity between husband and wife creates a crack in the wall of the Kingdom.
Fill the cracks. Forge the walls. Fight the good fight.

• Keith M Waggoner – April 2025